I am Homeless
Home.
A person, a place, a feeling. A house, a place of residence. Your arms, that song, the smell of a familiar couch. Ever fleeting sense of belonging.
Home: A place where one lives permanently.
Residence: A place where someone lives.
At first glance, these two definitions are very similar. Perhaps in their literal sense, they are synonymous. But in real life, in the poetic sense, they are clearly very different things. Having a place of residence does not mean that place is Home.
Growing up, Home had always been synonymous with my parents' house. It's where I ate, studied, slept, played piano, and had movie nights with friends.
But the more I grow and learn, the more I travel and read, the more I learn that Home is not a place. The house remains the same, but I have changed - because of the way that I've interacted with the world. And isn't it the dreams of all young people to be Free? Millennials and their vagabond lifestyles? Travel and move and be free? Struggle and cry and learn that our luxurious, privileged lives have been taken for granted?
Recently, I've stopped thinking of my parents' house as my home. That is not to say that I am not grateful for their love and support and generosity in letting me stay here with them. That's not the case at all. Don't get me wrong, there will forever be a place in my heart for my childhood home. I've just shifted my perspective.
But I've decided I'm going to look for a Home - a Home that is mine, whether it's my craft, my books, a new coffeeshop or somewhere new to live. Every Torontonian knows that Toronto is Home, but it's a very liberating feeling to feel like you aren't tied down to a place.
I'm Homeless in the sense that I feel like I have still yet to find a place I feel truly at home, where I truly belong in every aspect of my life. Everyday, I read books, watch documentaries, practice writing, singing, drawing. I want to get my hands in as many pies as possible until I find my special apple pie. ✨
I am on a constant search and I will search tirelessly until I find a place that I can call my Home. Whether it's a person, a place, or the same House I grew up in, I will search until I find where I belong.
