Emily Gilmore: Why are you such a bitch
Don't get me wrong. I love Gilmore Girls. And I love Emily and I love that she loves Rory. She loves Lorelai too. There's a whole lot of love going on, but there's one big thing that got to me. Actually, there were a few things that got to me (like how Rory, an unemployed freelance writer could afford to fly to and from London on a whim when I can't even afford a latte). Mainly, I never understood why Emily was such a bitch.
What really got to me was the kitchen scene after Richard's funeral. That supposed heart-breaking scene Emily asks Lorelai to recall one fond memory between her and her late father. Just a small anecdote, sure- a simple request. And, in typical Lorelai fashion, she messes up and tells an embarrassing story in front of his friends but it's clear to see that she didn't do it on PURPOSE. But clearly that part of it has been completely disregarded.
When they're finally alone in the kitchen, Emily rips her a new one.Of course she has a right to be upset - and rightly so. Her husband just passed away and her daughter was saying the worst things at the worst times. But what got to me was her comments about Lorelai being ungrateful.
"You have nothing but contempt for this family. What did we do to fill you with such contempt? Love you? Support you? Love Rory? Support Rory?"
"All my other friends have children who worship them, who call them everyday, who take pride in the family name."
"You want to break my heart in public because it's not fun doing it in private anymore?"
Now let me tell you, Emily. Clearly you're not as great a mother as you think you are. Maybe it's time to get off your pedestal and think why your pregnant teenage daughter would rather run away from the life you've provided her to struggle alone. It sure wasn't because it was a home she felt loved in.
Providing her with a house and private schooling, a nice neighbourhood - sure, these are luxuries. Privileges not everyone is privy to. They're nice, but I sympathize with Lorelai because there has to be more to life than that. Emily, maybe your daughter doesn't call because every conversation ends in a fight. She doesn't worship the ground you walk on because you don't give her any respect either. You belittle and patronize and condescend and there's no end to it.
Contempt is not the natural state between parents and children. Look at the relationship between Rory and Lorelai. Rory didn't grow up with these luxuries, but they are more than mother and daughter. They're best friends, which goes to show at least one thing: you don't need to throw money at people to make them love you. Transactional relationships only lead to broken relationships.
She "loves her and Rory", only in the form of pressuring your granddaughter to pick a career and manipulate her into choosing a school of your choosing. Support in the form of money, using it as a blackmail - the terms and conditions being they join you for Friday night dinner. That's not love. This is not a gift. This is a loan - and how can you expect love and respect in return when all you do is throw money at them and their problems?
Contrary to popular belief, money doesn't solve all problems. Sure, it can bring comforts and freedoms. Emily Gilmore, I am glad that the Revival shows you with finding support and a purpose outside of your marriage and the life you'd established for yourself. Finally, the ability to have an open and honest relationship with your daughter and granddaughter because you've stopped creating expectations for them. They are not there to be the person you want them to be. To fill a role that you've created for them. They are their own people and have their own lives to live and it's about time that you let them be who they really are and more than the "failed expectations" that you've set for them.
