Vulnerability isn't Weakness
I grew up with fairytales. Not the Grimm Brothers, but the Disney fairytale princesses – the delicate, gentle soul who is waiting for her prince to save her. I was lucky to be born into an era where the feminist movement is so strong. Little girls don’t need saving, we are not damsels in distress. What if the princess were to save herself? What if the hero we needed was inside of us all along?
But even so, we’re not taught about vulnerabilities. We’re only shown heroes and heroines showing courage – unparalleled strength and ability to overcome adversity. We aren’t shown vulnerabilities or the struggles that come alongside asking for help.
I grew up thinking weaknesses must be defeated, hidden, buried deep. Because you can’t be perceived as weak, especially as a woman. Especially since I’m not caucasian male with boundless fortunes for backup. What’s that saying? You have to work twice as hard to get half as much? You can’t show weakness because that is when people will come take advantage of your situation. My family, my entire extended family, is full of alpha males and females. We are not to accept defeat and we are not to show any weakness. If you need to cry, do it behind closed doors. If you’re nervous, find a way to get over it because you need to do it anyways.
But a large part of the difficulties of stress and anxiety comes from the fact that there wasn't anyone to talk to. No one seemed to understand. A lot of them didn’t even believe in mental health. I didn’t know how to seek help nor did I want to talk about my struggles because I didn’t want to seem weak.
It wasn’t until a couple years ago that I learned that it’s the complete opposite. It takes strength to ask for help. It takes courage to show vulnerability. The ultimate courageous act: being open and vocal about your needs, fully knowing that others could tease and ridicule, but doing it anyways.
I don’t think that vulnerabilities are a weakness. I think it’s the first step to growth. Being vulnerable means being self awareness. It means being aware of where you are, how you feel, and being honest with yourself. Asking for help is the ultimate strength because it shows maturity, trust, and honesty with yourself.
“Never forget what you are, the rest of the world will not.
Wear it like armour and it can never be used to hurt you.”
– Tyrion Lannister
Vulnerability and insecurity is common and normal and this act of courage should not be taken lightly. Whether through friendly conversation or seeking professional help, it must be commended.
