The "Who's Got It Worse" Game

Whether this was something taught through consumed media or just because I’m hyper-competitive, this game has got to stop. For almost as long as I can remember, I’ve been playing this game with my friends, ever since I was a little girl. And it’s almost fun at times, which is probably why everyone keeps playing it. It seems so harmless so we don’t ever think about its toxicity to our lives and mental health.

You have swimming practice after class? I’ve got dance AND music lessons.

You think you’ve had a rough day? Let me tell you about MY DISASTER of a week.

If you think you've had it worse, I'll think of something that makes me miserable. In these games, we thrived in our misery and we were proud of our struggles.

It seems like it’s a competition. Let’s see who has the worst time and start to nitpick at everything that doesn’t go perfectly in our daily lives. Not only does this highlight the things we should be trying to get over, it’s actually doing something much worse – we are actively looking for things that are going wrong. Small, minute, irrelevant things that we should be letting go, but instead are amplifying.

And for what?

I don’t know when we started playing this game or why everyone seems to be so keen on playing, but I’d never noticed it before. I actually enjoyed playing this game. What’s more, I felt pride in winning. In saying that I had the toughest time, the biggest struggles, and winning everyone’s sympathy for the day. I was proud that I was having the worst time. Their pity, won by my difficulties, even if only for the day. Everyday presented new struggles, new ways to play this game. New ways to compare who’s got it worse.

This type of thinking is toxic and when you surround yourself with negativity, it only expands and grows. It’s a self-perpetuating cycle and it only gets worse. To win the next game, tomorrow’s struggles must be worse than today’s. But why would I want that? If I’m having a hard time today, i want to have a good time tomorrow. I want to have hope that things are going to get better, not look for ways that they can be worse.

This is a toxic game that we’re playing all too often. Even when we win, we lose. In this game, everybody loses and the only way to win the game is to stop playing.